This semester there have been ups and downs like there is always in life. This is the year I have had to adapt and survive out of any year I have lived. There have been many obstacles that have changed my behavior towards many things. School for me is an obstacle but not an excuse for failure. I feel like I haven't put forth half the effort I can. I don't have the tough male figure setting curfews and reenforcing rules at home. At times I can say that I'm free to do what I want but there are punishments and boundaries but not as enforced as I'm used to.
This semester I'm maintaining my A/B average but English and Math have been tough. I don't find the thrive and motivation in completing my Blogs week by week. Personally, I feel like I'm wasting my time because I'm not presenting my work or directing it at a specific audience. It's floating somewhere in Cyberspace where an English teacher reads it while sitting at home and jotting notes and some other weirdo in the world might run into it and read it for fun. I don't even try my best because I have no one to impress. Researching my topic was tough because many of the blog topics were debatable and the deadlines were short term so in-depth research was too time consuming acknowledging the fact that there is work for other classes.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Book Response
The memoir, "A Child Called 'It'" written by Dave Pelzer, is a heartbreaking yet heartwarming at times. This is not only what he went through everyday of his childhood from when he was five to around eleven. It makes you want to keep reading while wiping tears and reading through the ripples of fluids created at the bottom of your eye. Every word is written with emotion and many words are written with hatred and anger towards everything. He narrates what he goes through on a daily basis, from weeks of starvation, blows to every inch of his body, years of torture, and hours of being submerged under water and sometimes in a gas chamber of ammonia and bleach. These are many of the effects of having not only one but two alcoholic parents in the household. With alcoholism stimulates thoughts, induces violence and conflicts with kindness. Mother was the aggressive one while father was to busy fighting fires or too scared to confront her. Peltzer wrote this book to make people realize the severity of some circumstances and to prove to those ignorant drinkers that alcoholism is a problem affects everyone.
This memoir begins as an enchanting tale of the perfect family. Dinners together, field days out, a walk around the park or even a picnic day on beautiful days. All of a sudden it becomes a book of heartbreaking, gut wrenching happenings that are too hurtful to lock up emotions. Dave's mother was often to drunk to have any respect for anyone not even her father. On page 147 he writes, "She often telephoned Father at the station and called him names. 'Worthless' and 'drunken loser' were two of her favorite names for him." She had no respect for his image at work, or as a family man. She made him seem like a horrible example while losing respect for herself in insulting him publicly. Dave himself explains the atrocity of a life he lives not having father.
"After awhile, Father didn't even stay home on his days off. He would come in for only a few minutes.
After seeing my brothers, he would find me wherever I was doing my chores and say a few sentences,
then leave. It took Father no more than 10 minutes to get in and out of the house, and be on his way
back to his solitude, which he usually found in a bar. When Father talked to me, he'd tell me that he was
making plans for the two of us to leave. This always made me smile, but deep inside I knew it was a
fantasy"(103).
Not only did Father lie to him but abandoned him to his luck knowing that he was the only person he could ever rely on or at least feel like he might be safe. He knew he was never safe but he knew at least punishments wouldn't be as hostile and bellicose. This book clearly depicts how problems between parents or others affect the children and entire household even thought they might not be noticeable.
The life Dave Peltzer went through is much more sever than what many other children go through. They might not be tortured or starved but they might be neglected or misunderstood becoming of less importance. It shows every side of everything. How hypocritical parents can be and whether there can be trust in certain circumstances. In the end the book is the prime example for the fact that he was affected both emotionally and physically.
This memoir begins as an enchanting tale of the perfect family. Dinners together, field days out, a walk around the park or even a picnic day on beautiful days. All of a sudden it becomes a book of heartbreaking, gut wrenching happenings that are too hurtful to lock up emotions. Dave's mother was often to drunk to have any respect for anyone not even her father. On page 147 he writes, "She often telephoned Father at the station and called him names. 'Worthless' and 'drunken loser' were two of her favorite names for him." She had no respect for his image at work, or as a family man. She made him seem like a horrible example while losing respect for herself in insulting him publicly. Dave himself explains the atrocity of a life he lives not having father.
"After awhile, Father didn't even stay home on his days off. He would come in for only a few minutes.
After seeing my brothers, he would find me wherever I was doing my chores and say a few sentences,
then leave. It took Father no more than 10 minutes to get in and out of the house, and be on his way
back to his solitude, which he usually found in a bar. When Father talked to me, he'd tell me that he was
making plans for the two of us to leave. This always made me smile, but deep inside I knew it was a
fantasy"(103).
Not only did Father lie to him but abandoned him to his luck knowing that he was the only person he could ever rely on or at least feel like he might be safe. He knew he was never safe but he knew at least punishments wouldn't be as hostile and bellicose. This book clearly depicts how problems between parents or others affect the children and entire household even thought they might not be noticeable.
The life Dave Peltzer went through is much more sever than what many other children go through. They might not be tortured or starved but they might be neglected or misunderstood becoming of less importance. It shows every side of everything. How hypocritical parents can be and whether there can be trust in certain circumstances. In the end the book is the prime example for the fact that he was affected both emotionally and physically.
Interpret Data
Many times information and statistics obtained don't correlate in any way, shape, or form or have an explanation on why it happens. On my poll, the question was, "Do you feel that family problems currently affect your mental state and self-worth?" The three answers were, 'Yes, strongly', 'Moderately affect me', and 'Don't affect me at all.' When I saw the answers I wasn't surprised much. Forty-two percent of the people who answered, answered that they were strongly affected. Fifty-eight percent answered that they were moderately affected. What was a bit surprising was that no one answered that they didn't feel like they weren't affected at all. I feel like there are people that answered the poll who act like they aren't affected around their peers and school in general. Truth is that they are affected no matter what, even though it affects everyone in different forms.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Rhetorical Analysis
Every piece of writing is directed to a specific audience but might be portrayed to be directed at many audiences all at once. Some use credentials to attract the majority, others use the logic of things and ideas and many times stress emotions to create a connection. At times they are compounded to be more powerful and credible to the majority. The article I read is "Dealing with Problem Teenagers at Home," directed to the parents of troubled teens to inform and broaden the capability of understanding their problems.
The excerpt starts out by explaining the basics of how problems begin, are solved and then newer bigger problems evolve. The use of logic helps create the connection between the writer and the parent because it's saying "read me this is how you and I feel affecting this but I can help you solve it this way." The author uses casual language to make it more of a conversation than a consult with a counselor or resource officer. "Boy, this is a major flashpoint. But don't you give up on the issue..." The emotional, pathos, is used throughout the article since its a topic that revolves around family and relationships, it comes naturally. On how to bond and act around the teenager, or how to cope with the problem until there is less tension. On this topic, not everything can just be written on logic or on emotions, their has to be some credible sources and in this case there are. "Dr. Lehman says that if your rebellious teenager would say out loud things like 'I hate this house!'... keep your cool." A character with such education will be credible most of the time but can be opininative about the topic as well.
Their are many ways to attract attention and subdue the audience. The three methods are obvious and straight forward. Some might work better than others depending on the audience. Some audiences might be as tough as steel or others as fragile as roses. The techniques have to be molded for the occasion and to suit the needs of the topic. For controversial topics like abortion u might go with the logic of what should be done or the emotional toll on the participants of such acts. Anything can subjugate the audience, you just need to know when and where to use this.
http://www.myproblemchild.net/problem-child-parenting-articles/dealing-with-problem-teenagers-at-home/
The excerpt starts out by explaining the basics of how problems begin, are solved and then newer bigger problems evolve. The use of logic helps create the connection between the writer and the parent because it's saying "read me this is how you and I feel affecting this but I can help you solve it this way." The author uses casual language to make it more of a conversation than a consult with a counselor or resource officer. "Boy, this is a major flashpoint. But don't you give up on the issue..." The emotional, pathos, is used throughout the article since its a topic that revolves around family and relationships, it comes naturally. On how to bond and act around the teenager, or how to cope with the problem until there is less tension. On this topic, not everything can just be written on logic or on emotions, their has to be some credible sources and in this case there are. "Dr. Lehman says that if your rebellious teenager would say out loud things like 'I hate this house!'... keep your cool." A character with such education will be credible most of the time but can be opininative about the topic as well.
Their are many ways to attract attention and subdue the audience. The three methods are obvious and straight forward. Some might work better than others depending on the audience. Some audiences might be as tough as steel or others as fragile as roses. The techniques have to be molded for the occasion and to suit the needs of the topic. For controversial topics like abortion u might go with the logic of what should be done or the emotional toll on the participants of such acts. Anything can subjugate the audience, you just need to know when and where to use this.
http://www.myproblemchild.net/problem-child-parenting-articles/dealing-with-problem-teenagers-at-home/
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Choice Blog
In this blog I will write about personal experiences on my topic relating to fatherless homes.
On April 13, 2011 my household became a household without a father. My father appeared at court for a speeding violation in Conejos County just outside of Alamosa. Him and my mother had left my sisters and I at home the night prior to the court. They called us in that morning to make sure we were up for school while they were getting ready to appear in court. At 9:53 a.m. I received an unexpected call from my mother which worried me because she knew I was in school and she would never call me during school hours. With Ralphs permission I exited the classroom and answered the call, I was shocked to hear my mothers trembling words telling me to watch my sisters for a few days and to be strong because she might not be home for a couple of days. After I heard that I knew something was wrong and I insisted in her telling me what had happened, she proceeded in informing me that my dad had been arrested by Immigration Officials as they were exiting the court room. She continued telling me that she kept walking even though the two undercover officers called for her as well but not by her name as they had to my dad. My mother walked away and walked into town where she recognized a man that had also been in the court room. She approached him and told him what had happened while in tears and asked him if he would be kind enough to give her a ride to Alamosa where she would wait for my aunt to arrive with the extra keys of my dads truck. At first she was worried for my father and his well being then she realized that she was on a car with a stranger but she was desperate to get out of town. She got on his van but before that she got the mans name and license plates number in case anything happened. The man treated the situation as if my mom was a criminal being persecuted so he made her wear a hat and sweatshirt to "throw of authorities."Minutes into the ride he was telling her how he was an involved catholic and made my mom feel better. Officials of Alamosa lied to me when I made the first call requesting information on my fathers arrest and said they had not arrested anyone by that name. A few minutes later my aunt called in and they told her it was because of Identity Theft. A month later when he was deported to Mexico, he was only being punished for entering the country illegally. All this is just a background knowledge of what had happened that day but not how it affected the family.
My mother didn't get back home until like two days later because she was in Denver and Colorado Springs making calls and meeting up with attorneys to see what could be done. Meanwhile I was at home with my sisters and I had told them that mom and dad had gone to Española, NM to visit our family and didn't suspect what was going on. After the first day passed Maite had realized that she hadn't talked to dad and something was wrong and she asked me a few times, "What's going on? Just tell me!" I always replied the same way and said, "Nothing's wrong they'll be home tomorrow." Sure enough mom was home but my dad was nowhere near and all of a sudden my sisters excited faces turned into sad, gloomy representation of dissatisfaction. They asked my mom for my dad and she sat them down and said, "Girls I have to tell you something", with a tear rolling down her cheek, almost instantly my sisters knew it was bad and started weeping. She then said, "Your father was arrested by immigration and won't be with us for a while." As soon as Karen heard that she took a deep breath and started crying quietly followed by Maite trying to hold in her anger and sadness. She started yelling saying, "I wan't my daddy! Where is my dad? When is he coming back!" After Karen heard that she could no longer stay quiet and broke out crying with her, my mom saw how hurt they were and joined them, it's was so saddening and heartbreaking I couldn't handle it, I got up and walked into the room where I silently cried feeling like a three year old all over again.
The day that my dad was arrested he called me around four and he told me, "I was busted, Immigration Arrested me. Please be good and take care of the household. Take care of my girls and your mother." After he finished saying that, he broke out crying. It felt as if I had taken a shot to the head, I felt hopeless it was the first time in my life that I had heard my dad cry, I knew he was scared and extremely sad and worried of losing us. A week later my sisters talked to him telling him they loved him and that they wanted him back everyone in tears my dad crying once again and telling us that was the only reason he didn't want to call us because he knew he wouldn't be strong enough for that.
Time passed and I saw the change at home with everyone. My sisters started talking back and rebelling against my mother. They ignored her when they were told to do something. I would come home later and didn't worry much about consequences. I saw the loneliness in my mothers eyes and the defeat within her. It got to the point where I had to stand up for her and regain her respect. Every time she was disrespected or ignored, I was the one talking to my sisters trying to make them realize the situation and how hard and stressing we made it when we disobeyed. Now everything is better, there is hope on m fathers return and we all became stronger and more understanding.
On April 13, 2011 my household became a household without a father. My father appeared at court for a speeding violation in Conejos County just outside of Alamosa. Him and my mother had left my sisters and I at home the night prior to the court. They called us in that morning to make sure we were up for school while they were getting ready to appear in court. At 9:53 a.m. I received an unexpected call from my mother which worried me because she knew I was in school and she would never call me during school hours. With Ralphs permission I exited the classroom and answered the call, I was shocked to hear my mothers trembling words telling me to watch my sisters for a few days and to be strong because she might not be home for a couple of days. After I heard that I knew something was wrong and I insisted in her telling me what had happened, she proceeded in informing me that my dad had been arrested by Immigration Officials as they were exiting the court room. She continued telling me that she kept walking even though the two undercover officers called for her as well but not by her name as they had to my dad. My mother walked away and walked into town where she recognized a man that had also been in the court room. She approached him and told him what had happened while in tears and asked him if he would be kind enough to give her a ride to Alamosa where she would wait for my aunt to arrive with the extra keys of my dads truck. At first she was worried for my father and his well being then she realized that she was on a car with a stranger but she was desperate to get out of town. She got on his van but before that she got the mans name and license plates number in case anything happened. The man treated the situation as if my mom was a criminal being persecuted so he made her wear a hat and sweatshirt to "throw of authorities."Minutes into the ride he was telling her how he was an involved catholic and made my mom feel better. Officials of Alamosa lied to me when I made the first call requesting information on my fathers arrest and said they had not arrested anyone by that name. A few minutes later my aunt called in and they told her it was because of Identity Theft. A month later when he was deported to Mexico, he was only being punished for entering the country illegally. All this is just a background knowledge of what had happened that day but not how it affected the family.
My mother didn't get back home until like two days later because she was in Denver and Colorado Springs making calls and meeting up with attorneys to see what could be done. Meanwhile I was at home with my sisters and I had told them that mom and dad had gone to Española, NM to visit our family and didn't suspect what was going on. After the first day passed Maite had realized that she hadn't talked to dad and something was wrong and she asked me a few times, "What's going on? Just tell me!" I always replied the same way and said, "Nothing's wrong they'll be home tomorrow." Sure enough mom was home but my dad was nowhere near and all of a sudden my sisters excited faces turned into sad, gloomy representation of dissatisfaction. They asked my mom for my dad and she sat them down and said, "Girls I have to tell you something", with a tear rolling down her cheek, almost instantly my sisters knew it was bad and started weeping. She then said, "Your father was arrested by immigration and won't be with us for a while." As soon as Karen heard that she took a deep breath and started crying quietly followed by Maite trying to hold in her anger and sadness. She started yelling saying, "I wan't my daddy! Where is my dad? When is he coming back!" After Karen heard that she could no longer stay quiet and broke out crying with her, my mom saw how hurt they were and joined them, it's was so saddening and heartbreaking I couldn't handle it, I got up and walked into the room where I silently cried feeling like a three year old all over again.
The day that my dad was arrested he called me around four and he told me, "I was busted, Immigration Arrested me. Please be good and take care of the household. Take care of my girls and your mother." After he finished saying that, he broke out crying. It felt as if I had taken a shot to the head, I felt hopeless it was the first time in my life that I had heard my dad cry, I knew he was scared and extremely sad and worried of losing us. A week later my sisters talked to him telling him they loved him and that they wanted him back everyone in tears my dad crying once again and telling us that was the only reason he didn't want to call us because he knew he wouldn't be strong enough for that.
Time passed and I saw the change at home with everyone. My sisters started talking back and rebelling against my mother. They ignored her when they were told to do something. I would come home later and didn't worry much about consequences. I saw the loneliness in my mothers eyes and the defeat within her. It got to the point where I had to stand up for her and regain her respect. Every time she was disrespected or ignored, I was the one talking to my sisters trying to make them realize the situation and how hard and stressing we made it when we disobeyed. Now everything is better, there is hope on m fathers return and we all became stronger and more understanding.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Current State of Affairs
For every problem there is at least one solution there are many times in which solutions come from every direction. Teenagers are not the best problem solvers and sometimes their only solution is suicide. Teenage suicide is influenced greatly by problems at home, school or anywhere else that brings stress upon their shoulders. In the article "The Third Leading Cause of Death Amongst Teenagers: Suicide," it states the following;
Among many things, some suicidal youths experience family trouble, which leads them, to
doubt their self-worth and make them feel unwanted, superfluous, and misunderstood. According to
one study, 90 percent of suicidal teenagers believed their families did not understand them. Young
people reported that when they tried to tell their parents about their feelings of unhappiness or failure,
their mother and father denied or ignored their point of view.
The guilt of being responsible of everything that happens at home is what provokes them to think the way they do, to act in such deleterious manner. Being misunderstood, like many people say, hurts. In some cases it hurts not only the central person in the conflict but the people that have the close ties around them. Parents find themselves making their children feel guilty of things to make them change something they do wrong and correct this. It might be useful but it changes the teenagers character abruptly causing their stress levels to rise and their thoughts to explode in suicide or attempt in suicide.
Domestic violence at home is another cause for troubled teens. In the article, "Effects of Domestic Violence in Teens," it estimate that around 7 to 14 million children are witnessing domestic violence and are then caught up in the effects. It doesn't only say that, it also states that many of the children who witness it at home feel guilty and live fearing for the worst. This fear secludes them from the rest of the world and has their mind set on the problems they feel involved in daily. They fear for their safety, well being of themselves and the rest of the family. They wait around expecting the worse out of every situation while blaming themselves all at once. They try to pamper and tame raging giant in their heads, the thoughts of guilt, by creating a gateway. The gateway is many times alcohol use, the use of illicit drugs or other controlling substances, the most tragic gateway is the gateway to eternal sleep, suicide. Although they can find this by consuming the alcohol or drugs, it's not often intentional to overdose on them, they do it to subjugate their thoughts and fears and circumnavigate the problem.
The teenage life is to live experiences, fail and succeed but other times it only feels like failure. Someones home environment isn't always so pleasant. It's sometimes feared like a toddler fears the dentist or the fear of a lost child. Teenagers might act tough on the outside but deep down their as delicate as a new born child, only trying to survive and cooperate with the world. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for troubled teens and continues to be used as the escape to everything. Not all problems can be avoided, especially when they're at home.
"Effects of domestic violence on children - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia." Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Oct. 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_domestic_violence_on_children>.
"The third leading cause of death amongst teenagers: Suicide." Serendip Home | Serendip's Exchange. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Oct. 2011. <http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/biology/b103/f03/web3/r2kallon.html>.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Family Problems Lead To Troubled Teens
I notice my friends have parents that don't have much care for them on what they do. I find myself saying, "I wish my parents were like that." But a majority of them do illegal drugs, gang violence, and other influential things. Ever heard of you are who you hang out with? What influences that? You're raised by your blood and flesh, your parents. So where do these teens develop violence or mental issues? Families are the beginning of turning the good teens into the troubled.
Divorces and parents separating are becoming at an all time high for young adults. They come to blame themselves for their parents’ own complications. Two out of three marriages that end in divorce involve a minor. 71% of high school dropouts are known to be from fatherless homes. Child support, child custody, and all these other laws involving divorce with minors, they feel stuck, unsure and hopeless on what to do. Sometimes there’s no discipline allowing the teen to wonder and do as he or she does freely. Causing more violence, drug use, sculpting them into someone they never hoped to be when they were still wearing the fresh scent of baby powder on their bums. Abuse occurs more often in households than you can look at into teenager’s eyes. Either sexual or physical, even mental abuse, can create a reoccurring bruise on ones growing mind. About 44% of teens are sexual and/or physically abused. Unfortunately four children die from abuse or neglect. Yes girls are most likely to be sexually abused more than boys, but it’s still the equal amount of abuse for each gender. With constant discomfort and unhappiness in a home, it can lead to destruction of a teens mind. Their naïve and are still are developing on who they are as a person. With abuse they become scared, scarred, angry, leaving hopelessness in their sunken heart, they develop anger problems, depression, anxiety, phobias, paranoia, all these mental disorders. Also even leaving bruises, black eyes, broken bones, even broken hearts.
A friend once told me about her friends dad who died from his liver exploding from an excessive amount of alcohol consumed. Alcoholism changes a person perspective, vision, and just their whole personality in general. You see your parent walk in all wobbly and such slurring their words, maybe even breaking household items. Does this set a good example on teens or does it give the ‘ok’ on underage drinking? More than one-fourth of all children in the United States are exposed to alcohol abuse or dependence in their families before they are the age of 18. When your family member is sick you usually want to do anything in your power to help them because they're temporarily impaired. It’s almost like with alcohol, a sickness, you have to help your parent into bed, take care of them so nothing wrong happens to them. But constantly doing so, the teen feels a huge responsibility is loaded onto their shoulders. It could cause them to fall into depression, create an unbalanced routine.
In this nation of ours, teens go through more at home than you can imagine. Sometimes everyday is a battle, where life becomes our war. You can’t judge them based on how they appeal themselves to you, theirs always a bigger side to the story, their lives. Families are beginning to fall apart, breaking hearts, minds and souls. What can we do about it? Theirs counselors, friends, psychologists, groups, etc. People that care enough to help out a teen in their struggle of a household. Let’s hope that instead of statistics rising and becoming more negative, but hope for families that can grow stronger and create children that can peruse their happiness.
Buddy, T. "More Effects of Parental Drinking." Alcoholism - The Alcoholism Home Page. Buddy,T, 20 Dec. 2007. Web. 08 Oct. 2011. <http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/tipsforparents/a/aa000725a.htm>
Iannelli, Vincent. "Child Abuse Statistics." About Pediatrics - Pediatric Parenting and Medical Advice. Iannelli,Vincent, 21 Apr. 2010. Web. 08 Oct. 2011. <http://pediatrics.about.com/od/childabuse/a/05_abuse_stats.htm>.
"Divorce Statistics in the USA | Divorce Information." How to Divorce - The Essential Guide to Divorce, Laws about Divorce, Divorce Rates, Free Divorce, Divorce Lawyers & More. 2011. Web. 08 Oct. 2011. <http://www.divorceguide.com/usa/divorce-information/divorce-statistics-in-the-usa.htm
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